2003-06-04 * 6:59 p.m.
entree into diaryland

so this is my first entree into diaryland, and i'm not sure where to start. i like to drink, tanqueray & tonic is my drink o' choice, and i prefer to drink till i'm drunk...otherwise, what a waste of time. i don't drink, i.e., get drunk, very often, maybe twice a month at most. i generally get drunk off red wine with my boyfriend, and then we proceed to have bad sex since booze and weiners don't mix well.

i'm a grad student but not taking classes this summer, just working 3 days a week at a job i'm not particularly fond of, but it's money...not good money, but money. i'm supposed to be working on my dissertation this summer...whatthehellever.

i find myself going through very interesting moods of late. yesterday, i was in a generally weird mood. the thing is, i'm a generally weird person, but i've become pretty adept at hiding it, for better or for worse. anyway, yesterday was one of those days when i laugh at stupid shit i make up to amuse myself and whoever may be around, which nowadays is my not-weird-at-all boyfriend. he was somewhat amused and even laughed, but ended up commenting that i'm weird but in a not-so complimentary way. he's quite normal...he was in a fraternity (which was almost a deal breaker...i think it's sad that some people have to buy the friends they get shitfaced with), works out, fusses with his hair, plays sports, likes the outdoors, wears abercrombie, is very outgoing and social...so he's pretty much everything that i'm not. how the fuck did we get together? that's another story for another time. suffice it to say, he's not my usual "type". so back to moods...the day before that, i was in one of my off-beat alterna-moods...i wanted to wear a kiddie tee and dye my hair metallic red and dance to ambient-techno-trance music. ok, so i guess here's where i admit that i've had my dalliances as a candy raver...stop laughing, i was damn cute.

my mood today was more "let's fuck around at work and look really busy till i get to sneak out early leaving even more work for me to do the next time i'm in." then i ate candy and felt better.

i'm going out of town tomorrow morning with my boyfriend till sunday night to visit his wife-beating father. i'm proud to say i finally told him just what i think of his father and how nauseating it is to think i'll have to smile and shake this fucker's hand knowing all the while he has absolutely no respect for me as a woman...i hate that it takes getting drunk for me to open up to him. he didn't have much of a reaction, but at least i told him, but i'm still a tool for going to meet this fucker against my own morals and good judgement. this is going to suck.

before * after

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