2003-06-26 * 8:36 p.m.
HOTKARL

i've gotten sucked into those damned online personality bullshit surveys that are supposed to provide you with immense insight but only if you completely lack self-awareness.

so i took a few.

i'd like to state, for the proverbial record, that i believe myself to possess ample self-awareness, but i also like to fuck away what little free time i have doing stupid shit on the internet. some are pretty funny, and i considered putting them on the entry page, but i narrowed it down to just the freakiness one, just b/c i don't want to be thought as one who takes herself too seriously. here are some of the others in which i've allowed myself to indulge...

shocker, me a girlie-girl

and as a man, i'm Liberace gay

You're Exotic Dancer Barbie. You have some moves,
and will do anything for a few bucks. Take it
off girl, but keep it PG-13 please.
If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

Schoolgirl
What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

Raver Bear
Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

so i do actually like to rave when i can, what of it? it's not like i'm a candy raver...anymore...

My Bloginality is ISTJ!!!

so i know too much about the Myer-Briggs and answered in a way to provide the ISTJ code...my steadfast ISTJ code

i like to amuse myself with shit like this so i don't have to actually deal with the things that are truly bothering me, like the fact that my best friend, who is one of the funniest people i know, hasn't returned my call, and knowing that my boyfriend Jem has finished his hockey game and is hanging out with some loathesome character and his vapid wife who likes to remind me of how skinny she is in a not-so-conspicuous attempt to point out how not-so-skinny i am in comparison.

ok, speaking of body issues, i mention to Jem the other night that i was unhappy with the way i looked in some recently taken pics. strangely enough, i didn't mind how most of my body looked, including my waist...that is truly novel...but instead couldn't get over how big my upper arms looked. and later i make a self-deprecating remark about my weight. specifically, as Jem is attempting to pick me up and carry me up the stairs, i remark, "but you'll hurt your back and have to explain to the ER docs that you were trying to carry a fat chick up the stairs!" he did not like this comment (either b/c he truly doesn't believe me to be fat...awwww...or b/c he doesn't like the idea of telling someone he's dating a fattie...meh). so what does he do last night? he brings home a movie he rented (he rarely does that without me), and it was a james bond movie....movie, not film, movie. first, i hate big budget hollywood crap, and he knows that. secondly, i've recently commented that i'm unhappy with how i look, and what does he do but bring home a movie from a series notorious for objectifying women...excellent. i know part of the prob is my own unhappiness with my appearance, but whenever Jem sees me look at a hot guy in a magazine or on television, he's none too happy, and he doesn't even have my issues. whatever.

and pretty much all of his friends date the same girl, i mean, type of girl...skinny, big tits, fake blonde, vapid. sometimes i truly wonder why he's with me; doesn't he ever look at the women his frat boy friends are with and wonder "where's mine?" i wouldn't blame him...while i do have sizable boobs, i'm just skinny enough to not have to shop at Lane Bryant (not that there's anything wrong with that), and while i'm very easy to get along with, i can be so much for him sometimes...i want to talk about beliefs and philosophies, and he wants to pull down his pants and cook bacon. what's wrong with us??

btw, i saw this license plate the other day:

HOTKARL

what the fuck is wrong with people?! while i find that horrendously funny, that particular phrase also makes me cry...literally cry. i have friends who drop that phrase for the pure amusement of me erupting in tears around other people who have no idea what the fuck is going on. i mean, really, what's wrong with people?!

before * after

My freakiness score is: 342...Are you a freak?
Find out your freakiness level.